Pretending...ASSHOLE!!!

Pretending and pretending again.....

is that what you so called "innocent" just as your act?

owhh.....im sorry.....i really dont know....how im supposed to know...

WHATEVER ASSHOLE!!!!

is that just your best to pretending all and iresponsible and throw the rubbish to other people....

letting people fixed your so called innocent rubbish!!!!

I hate you for shirking the responsibility to other people...

watch your mouth and watch for your act.....

saying people and laughing people at your friends back...

is your own friend!!!

or maybe in your heart the friend is just a doll for u to make use of...

or I'm not that best for you so called a friend???!!!

let's just go back to the previous time.....

you have been acting how lovely and such wonderfull you are...

and now...you just more selfish and you not even apprehensive how people feels.....

I've no seniority to talk about how good I'm..

but at least now I really know how bad you are and how fake it is

people change....the time change..

i know this....

but how come your attitude behind the mask is so so so sucksss

please dont pretend infront of me...

i will hate you,

I've never be that angry before...

and I dont know why..

coz I've trying my best to be your best friend

and I really wholeheartdeness to treat this friendship....

maybe I really cannot bear how suckss and fake you are...

really PRETENDING is it the best you can do??

maybe I need to "LEARN" something from you...

ASSHOLE, JERK....

or maybe not.....coz you are so damn disgusting to pretending...

no matter what have you been done to me....

I try my best to forgive and forget about it....

and now....I don't think that you done correct this time...

and maybe my restrain have no space for you....

I just got something to tell you....

for a such long time.....

I really like and want you to be my best friend....

coz I think that you are really good person....

you got help me before and many times.

but for a so long time have past,

I really realize that you have took away alot of my things....

thanks God that you've teach me how to be selfish....

and now.....

I really cannot see how you just pretending and be innocent....

and I can't even forget that how you take away my things my happines...

maybe you din recognise it....

but it's really mean alot to me...

I've try my best to forget all that things coz we are best friend (as I thought)

but now....I think that.....

the things that I owed you(helping), I've return it all back to you...

from now on we din owe each other anything....

and you, dont need to pretend infront of me anymore...

coz it's so disgusting....

Welcome to my world, my game. (NOT YOURS ANYMORE)

The RULE is......

My BFF will be the one who really treat me as best friend,

care about me(ps: instead of caring but not pretending)

no matter how far she or he is but not a recycle bin.....

thanks to remind me this "FRIENDSS"

~HATING~

~Jenny Ai~

Just a SIMPLE

Is it simple enough for me?

what is mean by simple?

I just wanna be a simple girl and have my simple life....

Is it really what I want...?

Everytime people will say their life is too bored and simple....

they want to be more excitement...

but when it change to excitement...people will say they just wanna be simple...

is it very confuse?

Ya that's right, it seems like confuse....

everyone need simple...

but just see how you take it.

I wanna be simple for....

don't care how people viewing you..

how mnay marks people will give you...

just gonna to be myself...

how you can care so many people feeling at once??

I can't....

so I'm trying to be as simple as I can....

if you throw away all the viewing points and marking scheme.

you'll feel that your life will be more happy and less worried.

Yea~that's make my life better...

now I'm trying my best to do everything...

althought the result won't be the one that i wish for,

but I'm still trying...

trying to don't to put all my attention to the result but for the process.

What I've put in,

although not all people will know,

although not even all my friend know,

but it is truly from my heart,

I've try my best....??

No matter what..

I just trying to make all the thing to be as simple as I could...

maybe, who know,

maybe one day i will success?

I'm not selfish,

I care about people,

just sometimes kindess will turn to bad treat from other people......

who you think you are?

I'm Jenny Ai,

and I trust that I can be honest. I can be good for anyting, anyone....

but please...please kindly appreciate it...

and I would like to say thanks to you.

Sometimes friend will change me,

they might turn me to hating them,

but how? you not supposed to like them?

NO....!!

I like them, I care alot,

maybe there is too lot for that,

and it turns to they overuse and overtake it....

my life suckss before,

and I don't want it happen again in my life.

Never ever let your friend use your good habit,

there will turn to u get nothing at last,

and, there is no selfish for that,

coz they also selfish for you.

I'm not telling you to revenge,

but, just don't too much and too little......

Thats all.

Simple and work for it~

~JENNY AI~

Gone...

12.26p.m. 6 March 2009

She, is a kind and loving women that all of us will remember her well.
She, 95 years old, living for a long time and looks old.
She, have been take a good care of many people and family members when she still young.
She, make me feel love dearly to her when I saw her.
She, my dearly, I’ll miss you whenever you have been……
I’m sorry can’t make anything better.

Sorry for having pity felling on you.
Every time I’m thinking of you, I’ll felt scared.
Scared, for seeing you suffer like that.
I’m sorry……
The tears drop in my heart.

Everyone loves you.
Care about you.
Thinking of you.
And, I’ll miss you and keep in my memory and my heart.

Times goes by……
Every breath you take heavily.
“I’m tired, I want to rest……”
Nothing change.
It’s seems as usual and all past like so well.

As time goes by,
The last word, the last scene, the last……
All seems like a last for you.
No movement.
No sound.
No breath.
Just, empty……

My dearly, we love you.
There is a better place for you.
No suffering.
I’m sorry……
The tears drop silencely…
The hardest thing to do is saying bye bye.

May you rest peacefully……
I love you……

~Rest Peacefully~
~Jenny~

Desperate

2 March 2009 10.49pm

The sky fill with the star and it had lit it up with the moon. Always, it seems like they are friends forever and cannot be apart for each other. Even though the cloud will take the brightness of the star but it won’t take away the space for star which will always stay with the moon. Both of them have been a décor for the beautiful sky. Always……
(I wish upon it. Just wanna get such beautiful life……)

Did I really lie to myself? I really tired. What the effort that I’ve really put it up. But at last, at last, what I’ve get? Is this so called a reward for me? For the people who had been put all their effort to do something, to accomplish something?

I really don’t know why. It seems like unfair for me. Really, I don’t want have such feeling but it just can’t get out of my head. Is it the effort that I’ve pay out is not as much as theirs? But, I thought that I can possess what I’ve been really pay it off and can get more than that.

I’m sad and hesitate for it. I’ve try my best for everything, at least I really try for it. The truth is, the facts have torn me apart from it. It just seems like a past time living in my life. And now I wonder it’s been really hard and not worth. Future is better right?

I don’t want walk away from it or maybe I can’t. It sounds easy to convince someone walks out from the past but when u figures it out, it’s really been hard time. Why I’m hold on the past tense? The truth is I still scared, really scared.

Lie. So just lie to me its gona be alright and no worried for it. There always regret smile in my eyes, always. Maybe sometimes the fact show the crack in my life and it won’t be perfect anymore. Every crack means a lot for me. Just lie, hiding all the secret behind it.

I’ve been rather silence and stay at the night. I want to make it through the night. Just tell myself I will, always a lie behind it. The night, I don’t want to wake. There always a self-deception. The truth will show everything, and change everything. The light will guide us to do so….

Don’t want to believe this fact. Just let the night take it over and keep pretending it. Let the camera take the next shot and just, keep acting on the stage. Just let me stay in the dark one more night…..one…more……

~Desperate Soul~
Jenny